The Slippery Spirit

after my last journey attempt, i decided to get a little more comfortable. i wanted my body to be free of the usual things that pester it: cold feet, a bump in my back, worry that someone will walk in and spoil my moment. so i decided that trial two of shamanic journeying would be done in my bed. it's nice and warm, soft, soothing -- just what my body needs to be no distraction for my mind. i collected my tools again, and began as i had before. this time i was far too relaxed. my mind was so soothed by my relaxed body that i went right to sleep. obviously, some middle ground is what i need. i have to make a space that is comfortable, but not so soothing that i just want to snooze. i've also come to realize that one can't just do a journey without mental preparation. prior to doing it, i have to talk to my mind. i have to tell it that it CAN do this thing. i have to prepare it for staying alert during this experience. i have to make this experience different in my mind from ...

i have a drumming CD so today i tried to do a shamanic journey with it. i got my supplies: a pillow, eye covering, ipod, earphones, privacy, and tried my first shamanic journey (since my recent relaxation exercises). the first thing i noticed is that absolute comfort is essential, because when you are as conscious as i am, every little complaint brings me back into full wakefulness. laying on the floor on my back was painful unless i elevated my legs. the next time, i will just do it in my bed and maybe even while laying on my side. that's the most comfortable sleep position for me, so it may work for this too. my blindfold was a fleece headband used for skiers. it also help to keep my earphones in place. the earphones that i used had those little sleeves to go inside the ear canal. this helped to exclude any street noise outside my house that i couldn't control. i also had to put on a sweater and heavy socks to keep my feet warm. i did my best to just relax. at first i just la...

the most recent lesson on my spiritual journey centers around my uncanny ability to remain conscious. trance work and shamanic journeying really doesn't work for me. though i've spent time studying how to be committed to a stage character, become okay with being watched, public speaking, let go of inhibitions, etc., my brain is still rather afraid to let go of the conscious world. i suspect its afraid of the unknown feeling of being floating in the waters of the spiritual world. some days i feel like the kid who stopped his swim lesson because he was too afraid of the water to make his first jump off the diving board. i've tried many times to just jump in. i've prepared in every way that the writers of such things have advised. but when i finally get down to doing it, my mind just sits there refusing to go. talking someone into jumping off a cliff isn't easy. all of the reassurance that their landing will be soft isn't going to dispel the fear their body feels. ...