Monday, May 26, 2014

Obsessed with Paganism

We have all encountered obsessed Christians. (I don't write this post to be anti-Christian. The Christian doctrine of proselytization makes the obsessed, pushy kind very visible and annoying, which helps me make my point in this post.) We have all been trapped by the awkwardness of their guerrilla preaching. They have backed us into corners, trapped us at supermarket checkout lines, caught us at the mailbox or on a subway. They always have something to say about their own spirituality. The feeling I get from them is not unlike being solicited by a panhandler, except I am willing to offer my coins to one in need. For the proselytizer, I have nothing to offer but the grumpy feeling that my own faith is being insulted and belittled.

Unfortunately, that obsessed spirituality isn't unique to Christianity; in fact, it extends itself into paganism. There are those who don't just live their paganism, they obsess over it. Every trip they take is a "pilgrimage." Every chill they feel is a brush by a spirit. Every dream they have is prophetic. Every leaf that falls is a "blessing by the goddess." Everything they write is a reflection on a magickal principle. This isn't just living as a spiritually mindful person, this is excess.

And it is ANNOYING!

The best places to find these people are at pagan festivals and online pagan groups. They are easy to notice because they have very far reaching magickal names more appropriate to a Tolkien story and they always seem to be playing at the witch oneupmanship game. If you find an interesting rock that calls to you, they find a magickal amulet placed in their dreams by an alien from another dimension. Sheesh! Here are my favorite phrases about those kinds of people:
He has a crack in his cauldron.
Her broom is losing its bristles.
She's a card shy of a tarot deck.
The point on her hat is bent.
His animal totem is the March Hare.

I tend to think excessive pagans are the current age's version of the hippie. I also think they are trying to escape the complexities of the modern age by retreating into a land of pretend. Though this post was largely just my own rantings, I write it to urge everyone: please don't become one of "those witches." Excess isn't pretty, even if you are of good intention. It really just makes people appease you with a smile while they plot the best way to call the men in the white coats. AWKWARD!